I am suffering from a total loss of motivation; mostly because this point in the season is incredibly weird. I found out that I won’t be doing the extended season, so basically I’m coming home in late February or early March instead of April and that threw my plans for a loop. Not that it really bummed me out after the first couple days but I had been so sure that I was going to do it that I had kind of gotten used to the idea of not making travel plans quite yet or packing up any time soon and now I’ve had to switch gears. Now the next month will be all redeployment meetings and setting flight dates and boxing up the crap I have somehow accumulated…not to mention looking for a job for next year. It’s all pretty daunting and I don’t even know if I’m ready for the real world yet, and I definitely know that a big part of me isn’t ready to leave this place behind.
On the other hand, I feel a pretty burnt out. With all the 2 days weekends of the season behind us I’m feeling the annoyance of the 6 day work week constantly and though I love my job, I don’t think any sort of work interests me at the moment. And I am so so so so very sick of the food. I got really excited over one of those Korean ramen noodle bowls the other day…seriously, it may have been the culinary highlight of my week. Then there’s the room situation, which has been good all year, but since we have all (in the past few weeks) had our own room, (either at the South Pole or because other roommates were at the South Pole) we are all less used to the crowded quarters. Mostly, I have
just found myself falling into a seriously apathetic mood on a daily basis…and it makes me want to get the hell out of here.
And then I think back on my end of season experience last year and how empty it all felt when everyone had left and how Chch freaked me out and how I didn’t feel quite at home when I went home…and it makes me want to dig in my heels and never leave.
This, ladies and gentlemen, has been my mental state…back and forth, back and forth, back and forth. It’s enough to drive you a little nuts.
On the other hand, I feel a pretty burnt out. With all the 2 days weekends of the season behind us I’m feeling the annoyance of the 6 day work week constantly and though I love my job, I don’t think any sort of work interests me at the moment. And I am so so so so very sick of the food. I got really excited over one of those Korean ramen noodle bowls the other day…seriously, it may have been the culinary highlight of my week. Then there’s the room situation, which has been good all year, but since we have all (in the past few weeks) had our own room, (either at the South Pole or because other roommates were at the South Pole) we are all less used to the crowded quarters. Mostly, I have
just found myself falling into a seriously apathetic mood on a daily basis…and it makes me want to get the hell out of here.And then I think back on my end of season experience last year and how empty it all felt when everyone had left and how Chch freaked me out and how I didn’t feel quite at home when I went home…and it makes me want to dig in my heels and never leave.
This, ladies and gentlemen, has been my mental state…back and forth, back and forth, back and forth. It’s enough to drive you a little nuts.
1 comment:
Maybe you should switch to nights. It does rejuvenate the soul, brings a bit of color to your life and plus it isn’t the same people from the day. I am just saying.
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